• February 9, 2023

As the market nosedived last year, my older brother advised me to sell. I lost $80,000. How can I ever forgive him?

Dear Quentin,

Around this time last year, when the market crashed, my older brother advised me to get out of the market and buy cash to save my fortune. It was only going to get worse, he proclaimed, and he had 40 years of experience in the market.

Granted, it was an ugly drop. I followed his lead and welcomed a loss of $ 80,000 while thinking I was saying goodbye to an even worse disaster. The same downturn soon ended and the market recovered. It took me months to get back on the market.

If I had ignored his advice and stayed on course, I would be way ahead and not far behind. To date, I’ve lagged behind $ 55,000, so I’ve found a few. I don’t feel good when I’m led on this path. Maybe I can only blame myself for listening.

Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.

The brother

Dear brother,

Accountability is everything. You can begin to forgive your brother by forgiving yourself. But to do that you have to repeat after me, “I and I were solely responsible for buying these stocks while things were going well, and I and I are solely responsible for selling them.”

Intention is also important. Your brother, whether he has four years or 40 years of experience, didn’t mean you did harm. He may have felt worried himself and projected that worry onto you. You didn’t say whether he also sold stocks. Rinse off the above quote and repeat.


‘It was a tough lesson. But the fun part is figuring out what you’ve learned. ‘

– The money is

You are responsible for making money, you are responsible for saving money, and you are responsible for investing money. When you seek advice and 100% decide that person, you are making a choice. You also hand over your power.

It was a tough lesson. But the fun part is figuring out what you’ve learned. 1. Don’t sell your stocks out of fear during turbulent times. 2. Don’t give up on your own agency. 3. Do not torture yourself by counting every rise and fall. That is what got you into this situation in the first place.

The situation is temporary, by the way – so you can choose to suffer now or you can take action and choose NOT to suffer. Plug in your laptop, call your brother and ask how he is doing, stick with it for the long term this time, take a walk and take a few steps.

You can email The Moneyist with all financial and ethical issues related to coronavirus at [email protected]

The money is: “Warren Buffett and Harry Potter couldn’t retire these two early”: Our wasteful neighbors said our advisor was “lousy”. How is it that WE retire early?

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Jack

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