Hot Hot Crispy Habaneros
People love chili chips, so why not crispy chilies? These are crispy, wispy scraps of fried habanero slices. They are the texture of fried butterfly wings. If you are just eating one, you will feel things ignite behind your eyeballs. You are really hot. Like right on the tongue, hot. There is no slow build-up, no nuances of aromas and spices. It’s a little bit of hell. And I love it here. On Instagram, a friend we call “Cousin Tony” suggested this was the hottest product Joe has ever sold, and I agree. Previous hot sauces and ghost pepper – this and that – didn’t come close. Try it yourself!
Organic yellow taco clams
It’s been a while. It’s been a while. Those oily peels need to be revived in the oven or you’ll have tough, stale, folded tortilla chips on your hands that are also covered in oil. You are so oily! But – pensive pause – at least they’re organic.
Everything except the bagel nut duo
I’m sick of this anti-bagel agenda. And those nuts – rancid from sunflower oil after its heyday, dry and dusty, without the dried garlic that is in the spice mix – sealed the deal. I want everything AND THE BAGEL, Joe. Enough is enough.
Up Guara almonds are slightly larger than Marcona almonds. They remind me of the “slightly irregular” socks on TJ Maxx, my second favorite TJ. They’re chic but off-brand fancy. And that’s good enough for me baby These guar almonds are buttery and won’t leave a bitter aftertaste, but they will make your fingers glisten with salt. Lick everyone and let the salt come with the purell. There is nothing like it.