ATLANTA (The Borowitz Report) – Georgia Governor Brian Kemp has declared water as a “gateway drug that leads to the vote” in his ongoing battle against the aqueous matter.
“We have consulted a lot of studies on the subject,” he said. “People are much more likely to vote when they are under the influence of water.”
The governor said he was considering a number of measures to combat dropsy, including stricter penalties for voting while deleting.
In his strongest warning, Kemp said to those who deal in the banned liquid, “We are coming after you,” and promised jail time for anyone who combines hydrogen and oxygen in illegal water laboratories.