I am married but my home is only in my name. When I bought it in 2010, I was the only one who could apply for a mortgage because my husband had a temporary job after being laid off during the recession.
My previous house, which I bought as a single, had significant equity. But I couldn’t sell it right away because repairs were required and there were no funds to get them done while my husband worked sporadically. I then took out a loan from my pension fund to pay for the repairs.
When the old house was sold, the money was used to refinance and pay off the mortgage on the current house, again only on my behalf. I’m the one paying for the mortgage. (We live in Georgia.)
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“I’m the one paying the mortgage.”
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My husband is 62 years old and I am 61 years old. We both have chronic conditions, although I’ve had more severe hospitalizations including pulmonary embolism, pneumonia, cerebral spine leakage, etc.
My husband’s son is almost 29 years old and still lives with us. He neither pays rent nor does much of the housework and is an extremely aggravating total fool as well as disrespectful, rude, physically and mentally abusive and especially threatening to me.
Sorry, but that’s the truth. I feel held hostage in my own house, which he treats like a dump. Since my stepson has mental health problems, my husband thinks we can’t throw him out of the house until he can support himself.
I worry that my husband will survive me, and while I have no problem with my husband getting the house when I die first, I am firmly against my stepson who will eventually inherit my house under all circumstances.
How can I structure my will to enforce what I want about my home in order to prevent it from being inherited from my stepson?
Captured
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Dear prisoner,
Before we talk about what happens after you leave, let’s talk about the here and now.
You are in a house of danger and you are surrounded by a trauma wall. You need a team that looks at the effects of living together with a man who is a bully and abuser of elderly abuse and then you can deal with your and his life situation. Once you begin to break down the walls of your own fear and abuse with the help of a lawyer, financial planner, doctor, and therapist, you can begin facing the problem of what happens to your home when you die before your husband.
But why should you focus on ensuring that this man does not inherit your home? I agree that you should do everything in your power to make this happen, but you might have 10 or 20 or more years left. So why suffer because your husband is unable or unwilling to kick him out? You don’t have to live with abuse. There is no excuse for abuse. It’s time to end your stepson’s rent free terror rule in your home. You have the right to live safely and happily.
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What happens to your home after you leave is an important consideration for you. However, given what you revealed in your letter, it should be at the bottom of your priority list.
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Georgia is a just distribution state. For example, “both spouses generally have some property although they are not mentioned in the deed”. after Abbott & Abbott, a law firm with offices in Marietta and Canton, Ga. Speak to an estate planning attorney about whether or not you can leave a living good for your husband (he lives there after you die but doesn’t own the house) Paid for the house you brought into this marriage and used the proceeds to buy a new one.
Contact Georgia Adult Protection Services to report abuse and find an organization to help you navigate the last few years of your life so that they are free from harassment and abuse. Talk to an attorney, financial planner, therapist, doctor, and even the police if you have to. You didn’t sign up when you got married and the price you paid shouldn’t be a peaceful life. If your husband is standing by and allowing this, he will help encourage your stepson’s abusive behavior.
Neither your husband nor your stepson are likely to change. However, there are steps you can take to ensure that you wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night and feel safe in your own home. What happens to your home after you leave is an important consideration for you. However, given what you revealed in your letter, it should be at the bottom of your priority list. I believe you can do it – and with the right outside support, I’m confident you will too.
About one in four 65-year-olds will be over 90, and one in ten will be over 95. according to information from the social security authority;; More than half of 65 year olds need long-term care. You don’t want to be in a position where both your health and your husband’s health have deteriorated so much that you are dependent and at the mercy of your stepson. If you don’t force your stepson to move out, he will never leave.
The time to act is now.
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