WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Senator Mitch McConnell urged the nation’s largest corporations to follow his example and not get involved in the country’s government.
Speaking to reporters, the Senate minority leader said that he “could easily have used my position over the years to make the country a better place, but I have carefully resisted the temptation.”
“Whether it was providing Americans with affordable health care or introducing stricter gun laws, I was careful not to influence the government to get things done,” he said. “I wish companies would follow my lead.”
He urged the CEOs of large corporations to spend a day with him in Washington “to see how nothing is done”.
McConnell cut off his remarks to reporters and said he had to return to his office to work on not improving the country’s infrastructure.