Dear Quentin,
In the past three years, my wife has spent over $ 50,000 on cosmetic procedures. She was never a vain person. It started with a facelift after she turned 40 and now she can’t stop blowing money on everything from botox and lip fillers to cool sculptures.
I can think of a dozen ways to use this money more responsibly, but every time I mention it, she just shrugs and says that she likes to look good. By her logic, she works a lot of overtime and drives a 15 year old car, and she wouldn’t do any of these things if she didn’t choose to go through these procedures.
I admit that she paid for all of this with her income and is thrifty in other ways. She looks beautiful, but I am horrified to see how much money is blown into something so frivolous. Should I be more supportive?
man
Dear husband,
We’re ALL at work and how we spend our money reflects how we see ourselves and how we want the world to see us. And yes, people are judged for that too.
I can’t say your wife is spending this money on cosmetic surgery because she thinks she’s worth it – to paraphrase a particular shampoo commercial – or because she thinks she’s not worth it, or none of the above or a combination of both. But if she and you are financially sound, and she is otherwise good money managers, and careful about surgeon choices and number of procedures, I don’t think it’s anyone’s job to tell them they are vain. Even if she asks.
Of course, she could save the money for retirement. But we could all use a forensic search for financial souls. Maybe a new kitchen with a marble splash guard is careless for your wife, or an SUV that will make the neighbors green with envy, or a new golf club, or spending thousands of dollars on a hair restoration clinic. or $ 30 on L’Oreal Professionnel Volumetry Anti-Gravity Volume Shampoo when you can spend $ 1.99 on another brand that will get the job done anyway.
Your wife is not alone. Plastic surgery is booming for those who can afford it during the coronavirus pandemic. Men only make up about 8% of the procedures, but men’s looks are not judged in much the same way that society judges women and what they look like. Around 70% of members of the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery reported an increase in bookings and treatments during the pandemic, with 90% of facial plastic surgeons reporting a 10% increase.
If she asks you what you think, tell her, “I love you. You were beautiful before you had plastic surgery and you are still beautiful. Even and especially when you’re driving that battered old Jalopy. “
You can email The Moneyist at q[email protected] with any financial or ethical questions
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